So I decided to work on some personal things in my writing. In a previous post I decided to write my narrative. I started it. Then I decided I would bulletize < --if that's not a word it is now) my life; put my life in an outline so to speak, writing down the first things that popped in my mind and how I would separate such things.
For example, here is a short portion of my bullets:
- five years in the Navy
- moved to the south
- two children
- motherhood and staying at home
There was a lot more to it but I don’t want to share all of this with you, just give you an idea of what I was doing.
But what I found curious is where I stopped in this bulletizing of my life. I think I have more work to do than I think.
OK, so I’ve decided to go to the places I’ve been avoiding for quite some time. Instead of trying to struggle through writing a silly novel I think I need to do some other forms of writing first, just for me. I don’t know how long it will take or how much time I’m willing to dedicate to it yet. It may take a year, maybe more, or it may just take a week. Ha! Who knows. But I need to write it out, for my eyes only.
Is it my memoir? No, even though it really is but I don’t feel like I can call it my memoir. The word “memoir” sounds too fancy for me. So I am calling it my narrative.
All I am really doing with this is journaling my thoughts, something that has needed to be done for a long long time now. I have close to 40 years of “narrative” to write out now, or close to 40 years worth anyway. Or at least what I can remember of it. I can remember. I will have to make myself do this, I’ve been avoiding it for too long. I have a knack for putting stuff, or leaving stuff, in the past without feeling the need to go back to learn anything about history. I pretend it never happened and move on. I don’t think this is a good thing.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about staying in the now and all that spiritual stuff. However, if I don’t recognize my past, acknowledge it, learn from it, then I don’t think I can enjoy anything NOW. I know, this is total nonsense talk, whatever. I’ll work it out on my own, in writing.
I’ll be in and out. Stay tuned.
So yes, I’ve been a little distracted by real life these days; work, family, commitments, and so on and so on. I’m sorry but I just found that previous statement a little crazy – distracted by real life? Seems a little backwards to me but here I go digressing already….
I’ve been away from writing for about a week now. I was getting up every morning to write but this past week I have slept in. I just couldn’t drag my fanny out of bed when the alarm went off at 0500.
I should set a schedule for myself and then actually implement this schedule. I’ve set a schedule in my head before but then I allow myself to go astray for whatever reason. I need to practice discipline. I am so undisciplined it’s not even funny.
The past month I’ve been following an online writer acquaintance while she has been on her beach writing retreat. Oh how I wish I could have something like that for myself. LOL But I don’t think I could do it, I’d feel too guilty leaving everyone here on their own, even though I KNOW they would be perfectly fine without me. You should go read all about it on her blog, I’ve been living vicariously through her these last few weeks. Her experience is quite inspiring and encouraging.
While I haven’t written anything all week, I did manage to meet with another writer face to face yesterday, two writers actually. We’ve kind of set up every Saturday to meet and write with each other for a couple of hours. So yeah, I didn’t write all week but I did write yesterday with them.
What am I going to do today? Well, everyone in the house is GONE today so after writing this blog entry I will turn off the television, go take a shower, and then sit down to write. But don’t you know I have ironing to do, the bathtub needs to be scrubbed, the living room needs a good vacuuming, the desk in our bedroom needs to be organized again and cleaned up, I should probably look at my weekly schedule, and blah blah blah. Yeah, you get the idea.